¡con todo mi vida!

Blogging, shit. I guess I haven't fallen into the groove I'd hoped for. After numerous weeks of incredible experiences, new friendships, and great challenges I have been unable to motivate myself to 'blog' about it. I am hopeful that this post, although unplanned will kick-start something.

Today I went to a Sunday morning church service for just the second time since I have been here. John, Tracy, and I went to the 11:15 AM service at All Souls Unitarian Church. It was the first time I have ever been to a Unitarian service and I was quite impressed. Atop the single-fold (four page) bulletin was the day's theme: "For All That Is Our Life." This set the tone for the service as the opening 'ringing of the bell' for those military and civilian lives lost in Iraq and Afghanistan tolled. The program alone was brimming with the social engagement, civic and ethic duty, and other challenging and inspiring feelings, which I believe religious communities, should value most.

The worship music was mostly jazz. This was fantastic. The very animated black man who directed the choir and an older white gentleman, who jammed out on both the piano and alto sax, drove the passion of the music and were accompanied by a 20-person choir.

I think what was most inspirational about this entire service was it felt like true religious pluralism. The church was a place for people of faith to share in one another’s humanity and just be. It was not required that we knew 400 year old liturgical hymns nor necessary that we subscribe to antiquated and exclusive traditions like communion. We didn't spout creeds that we (the congregation and me included) don't actually understand, let alone believe and otherwise repeat merely out of respect to years of muscle memory. We didn't say the Lord's prayer. The congregational prayer and silent meditation, instead felt more meaningful and heartfelt than that of any other service I’d previously attended.

I would have expected to be 'on guard' and not open to be impacted by a brand new church on day one. But numerous times I teared up. I think that had a lot to do with the welcoming environment that I truly felt.

The sermon drove home what I loved about the whole experience. It was given by one of the two full-time pastors. Although there are some days when the sermon may be given by a professor, social activist, or other church/community member. The theme of the sermon spoke to me in three ways, simultaneously:
1) why I am in DC and doing a program like Lutheran Volunteer Corps working at an incredible place like TMA;

2) how incredible my experiences, friendships and life in DC are becoming; and

3) how much I love the people in my home communities and how much I still thrive off of their presence in my life.

The theme was: 'Gratitude for unmerited gift of life.’ The reading in preface to the sermon was the poem "The Healing Time" by Pesha Gertler.

The Healing Time

Finally on my way to yes
I bump into
all the places
where I said no
to my life
all the untended wounds
the red and purple scars
those hieroglyphs of pain
carved into my skin, my bones,
those coded messages
that send me down
the wrong street
again and again
where I find them
the old wounds
the old misdirections
and I lift them
one by one
close to my heart
and I say holy
holy.


Rev. Hardies followed the poem a story of a child blessing (the Uni. version of a baptism) he'd done last fall for a Spanish family. When he'd asked the child's grandmother (a native Spanish speaker) if she would agree to the challenge of caring for this child through sickness, health, good times and bad...instead of the automated response “yes,” which he expected, and usually receives, the grandmother looked at her grandson Gael and said, with tears welling in her eyes: "con todo mi vida." Con todo mi vida. In Spanish, this phrase means literally 'with all my life.'

This story and reminder of this life ethic helped me think about exactly why I am here. I have been the undeserved recipient of not just the gift of life, but also the incredible gift of love. I believe one of my greatest strengths in life is my patience and willingness to connect with others and to express and share the love in me with them. I am here; I am myself, as you all know me, doing just that. I live with five beautiful, thoughtful and concerned people. We are a community committed to social justice, community, and sustainability. I love it. I am happy. I breathe fresh autumn air every morning as I walk four blocks to the metro station where I ride the green line for 9 stops.

I get off each morning at Anacostia and walk across the street to Thurgood Marshall Academy. I work in the Programs office with four other incredible people. Two, just like me doing other yearlong service corps programs… the other two bosses in title, but mentors and friends in nature. We work with incredible students everyday in our numerous out of school time (OST) programs that include clubs, field trips, sports, community service organizations, and law-related extra curricular activities.

The people around have already shown me I can thrive here. I am because we are. The ubuntu ethic is ever present in my day-to-day life. I have begun to realize my role in the new communities I am a part of as well as my continued challenge to actively participate in my relationships with those people back in Washington State. I love this challenge because I have people in and around my life that encourage and support me to be strong and committed to the life I am leading.

I thank you all for your support in this journey I have begun and hope that these words shed light how my experience has thus far impacted me.

A New Blog

I haven't used this blog since I returned home (to the US) from Norway in December 2007. Truthfully, I didn't even use it much in Norway. I had this realization that coincided with my observation of the ever-expanding "blogosphere": No one cares about everyday people's whining - which, I have found most blogs to be. Rather than insightful, blogs have become public domain, yet remain impenetrable and a comfortable space where attention starved people find an outlet to vomit their inane insecurities in hopes that they might 'connect' with a similarly 'angsty' individual who feels their pain and understands their problems.

Well, everyone has problems, and it is perverse to think that a digital stranger might help. Further, if your audience is people that you know, write them a letter or give them a call, if you really desire a thoughtful ear. And no matter how many hours someone pours into their blog, in hopes of pursuing true reflection and personal discovery, that person on the other end of a flickering screen doesn't care. It's not that they don't want to, they genuinely might, the limitations of digital contact and 'profiled' personalities however, inhibit real empathy and understanding. For example, how many people have looked at short, non-punctuated text messages and thought is the other person simply being brief or are they being sarcastic, or are they pissed off at me? As such, I want to establish this baseline understanding of what my blog (and all blogs really) will and should be.

I began this blog with the title of "Big Questions." Although a seemingly arrogant prompt on the surface, yet within, my intentions are that this space will become a two-way road. I want it to be an outlet for these daunting, frustrating questions about humanity that I continually wrestle with and have plagued human consciousness for thousands of years. These are questions that we all see around us, yet few are willing to spend a life asking them and refining them. Most settle for some misconceived notion of certainty...I suppose its to sleep best at night. Yet in no foreseeable future will these questions be answered, and they are the lifeblood that drives the curiosity of human intellect and emotion. Hey, there's one such question embedded in that statement even, 'how are reason and emotion aligned within human beings both psychologically and physiologically?' At any rate, I want this (my blog - and your responses) to be an outlet for continual questioning. While narrowing and refining questions, we will discover bigger and further unanswerable questions. We will call upon our experiences to enhance the application and relevance of these questions into our lives. We use reason to deduce the logical and illogical paths that these questions often take. We pursue the lofty ideals of faith, truth, justice, and peace which act as principles and guiding light throughout our inquisitions.

Communication like this will allow us to maintain contact that is meaningful and isn't merely a sharing of the specifics from our day. Frankly, I can look up the weather online. We owe it to ourselves, our relationships, and our shared intellects to use this forum to be more than its prescribed to be. Although I won't see you all everyday, let's use this tool to help us continue to explore the ongoings of our heads and challenge each other, like we so often have.

In closing, I would like you all to know that I am settled into DC and am very happy, maybe the happiest I have been in years. The specifics of my job, housemates, and this exciting city will all emerge when appropriate. I will also share photos through my photo site and discuss the people and experiences I am a part of and I expect that you will do the same. So, rather than inundate you with all facts about "this new chapter in my life" (CheeseTown), let's communicate where we left off and respect the core of our connection and friendship. Oh, and one last important thing about the specifics of our lives, PLEASE share with me what books you are reading, music you are listening to, movies or theatre that you've seen...as you reflect upon them.

I miss and love you all.



p.s. Check out this YouTube video...it is Ingrid Michaelson doing a cover of Radiohead's Creep, on ukulele = BRILLIANT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcoj5PWFMZg

p.p.s. I am seeing her in a couple of weeks because my roommate John got us in to work backstage at the show at his alma mater!